The Networker
I was trying to come up with what to put in this month’s article when I received a great little piece from Doc McIntyre from UoT that I thought worthy of sharing:
Saving Our Language in the New Year By Ken Goldstein
Stop beginning any spoken sentence with Candidly, Honestly, Quite frankly, Truthfully, or To tell you the truth. Stagnant qualifiers pollute our language. If these preambles aren’t implicit, don’t speak.
Beginning a statement with “honestly” conveys that it’s different from your other statements, which must be lies.
When I was a young lawyer — many, many years ago — I was told that when a witness started his answer with something like “to be honest with you…” he was about to lie.
Actually, in my opinion (humble or otherwise)…
Stop prefacing earnest speechifying with “Let’s be clear” or some variation thereof.
Stopending letters and emails with “sincerely.” And why do we still start letters with “Dear…?” Come on, few people in this day and age deserve such acknowledgement, yet we use it for letters sent to strangers and corporations. Save it for friends and loved ones.
For God’s sake, don’t use “for God’s sake.” I doubt He/She cares.
“With all due respect” is alead in that often means “I don’t respect your opinion at all, you moron.” And why do some people preface their own opinion with “some people feel that…?” Are they too afraid to own their opinion?
Unless you started a statement with a joke, don’t begin a new statement with “In all seriousness…” And never state that “It’s common knowledge that…” Too many people use that to give support for their own narrow opinion.
Don’t say “literally.” Ugh.
Don’t end a statement with a question, such as “…isn’t it?”
I once asked a question of some guest speaker at a very large public meeting starting a sentence with “surely.” He responded that he distrusts any question beginning that way because it sounds as if I have already made up my mind! My friends who were there quoted the line from Airplane, “Don’t call me Shirley.”
So, there you have it, literally some easy fixes for the New Year. Honestly, we can’t fix the entire world, but quite frankly, any healing in our broken communication is worth the effort. With all due respect, it’s worth a try, isn’t it?
…
I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did – but it also got me really thinking about communication. Not just the mechanics of how we frame our words, and things that should be left unsaid – but the things we don’t say at all or as much as we should. So as we set forth into 2019, we could use less of the words and phrases above, but we can also be better at saying more of some others. Below are a few I intend to work on.
Simple manners and courtesies sometimes get forgotten in the rush of the day – remember to say: “Hello/good morning/good afternoon” etc, “Thank you”, “You’re welcome”, “Please”, “Excuse me”. Remember greetings/please/thank you work in e-mails too!
Give encouragement (you have an infinite supply) – “Everything is going to be OK”, “You can do it”, “You’re awesome”, “This will pass”, “I care”, “I’m listening”, “Can I help you with that?”
Be human, you don’t have to be a super hero every day – “I don’t know”, “I made a mistake”, “I’m sorry”, “I need help”
Be real, it’s good to be open about feelings instead of letting them fester – “I disagree with you, but I still like you”, “You hurt my feelings, let’s talk about it”
Connect and network – “I understand”, “I would like to introduce you to…”, “Tell me about yourself”
And always, always tell those you love how you feel every chance you get.
Happy communicating in the New Year!
Lorie Vega, Secretary
Ellsworth AFB 28th Force Squadron
The Networker
December is here and with it the magic of the holiday season is upon us. Everywhere we go the festive sights and sounds of the season are all around us. To many, Christmas is the most wonderful and happiest season of all. We spend hours shopping for the perfect gift for that someone special, baking, decorating and preparing for this special holiday.
Christmas can also be a time of sadness.
The inability to purchase that special present for their children, family or friends or loneliness from being separated from family and friends, While for others, sitting down to a big Christmas dinner may be only a wish and not a reality.
So, this year as you are preparing for the holidays, make the time to give a gift of kindness, it may be all that someone needs to make their holiday season a little brighter. Here are several ways to show an act of kindness during this giving season.
- Drop money into the Salvation’s Army basket or purchase a small gift for an unknown child.
- Take a plate of fresh-baked Christmas cookies to a shut-in.
- Invite someone over to share Christmas dinner with you who might otherwise have spent the day alone.
- Send a card to a friend who you haven’t kept in contact with just to let them know you are thinking of them.
- Fill a box with all of the trimmings for a Christmas dinner and give to a family in need.
In return for your gift of kindness, you will be rewarded tenfold with a grateful smile and a heartfelt thank you. I know, I have been the receiver of such a gift, it was not only the best gift that I received that year, but it has become a treasured memory of three small boys overjoyed at the receiving of a simple gift….a Christmas tree.
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you and blessing for a bright and happy New Year!
Peggy Hettick, Treasurer Elect
Quality Medical Legal Consulting, LLC
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The Networker
- Walk Proud, as you walk, do it with proper posture and purposeful movements. Concentrate on keeping your spine straight, keeping your ears and shoulders directly above your hips your head should not jut too far forward or back, but sit right above the neck. Use all of core muscles by slightly squeezing your abdominal muscles. Good walking posture will energize your body by making exercise much easier.
- Pump Those Arms. Your arms help guide you if you put a little energetic pump into your swing. Let your arms hang naturally at your side to start. Then let them swing naturally to and fro as you walk with a slight bend in the elbows.
- Shorten Your Stride. Shorten your steps and focus on purposeful movements at first. Instead of speed concentrate on coordination. With each step, roll the foot from heel to toe with smooth ease. This proper form will strengthen your bones and improve your balance so eventually you can accelerate your walking speed.
- Track Steps with a Pedometer. If you have trouble getting motivated to walk, try counting your steps with a pedometer. With a pedometer its a means of motivation…it’s like having a walking coach or walking buddy for encouragement.
- Loosen Up. Learn to keep your body relaxed, which means loosening the tension in your jaw, face, and hands, resist the urge to make fists as you walk. Focus on good posture, but keep your arms and shoulders relaxed and loose to power your walk.
- Walk with a Heart Rate Monitor. Wearing a heart rate monitor while you walk ensures you’re getting the most bang for your buck. This will keep you walking at an optimal intensity for your efforts.
- Squeeze Through your Glutes. Walking calls many muscles into play mainly the large group of muscles located in the back of your legs and buttocks. When you walk you use other muscles as you give your glutes a squeeze. When you are walking think about walking on pebbles or marbles as you walk. This multi-muscle sequence will help improve glute strength and stabilization.
- Keep your Eyes on the Prize. If you don’t enjoy walking, the prize I’m referring to might very well be your couch. But if you do decide to start walking, keep your head up, your airway expanded for deep breathing, chest open, and your eyes fixed on the horizon. This will ensure straight and level head and neck alignment.
These words of wisdom for Walking is taken from a study done at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. If you can walk at least 15 minutes after every meal, it will improve your glucose absorption – resulting in weight loss and improve heart and muscle function.
The Networker
September is the back to school and get back into the routine month. It’s often filled with busy school schedules, kids activities, and squeezing the last bit of sunshine before fall arrives. Not to mention our work lives of owning a business, working for a local business, or a part time side hustle as well as our volunteer opportunities. We can run ourselves out of time and energy. So here are a few tips to take care of YOU!
- Get plenty of rest.
- Eat a balanced diet and allow yourself a treat at times.
- Practice saying no. And if this is difficult for you, use the standard line of “I’ll have to get back to you on that” to buy yourself time to think about if you want to commit to what is being asked of you.
- Exercise regularly as it relieves stress and releases endorphins (feel good) in your brain. Sex does the same thing.
- Spend time with the people you enjoy spending time participating in activities you like.
- Spend some time by yourself, even if it’s locking the bathroom door while you shower.
- Do something nice for yourself every day and you get to pick what that is.
- Spend time with your girlfriends. There is nothing better to pick you up that spending time laughing and enjoying good conversation with girlfriends. Wine helps too.
- Eliminate people and things in our lives that are negative, toxic, and draining. You deserve better and you are worth it.
- Put yourself first and give yourself permission to be “selfish” in this area. You have to be filled up before you can pour into others. Give it a try. And you’re not really being selfish. You are loving yourself and modeling that to others.
I hope you all have a great month getting back into the school and structured routines that fall brings every year. Take care of you by putting yourself first. You are worth it!
The Networker
One of the greatest things about leadership is that we all bring something different to the table. If you were to read articles on good leadership qualities, you would usually see factors like integrity, effective communication and influence. These are all wonderful qualities of a leader, but I am going to share something I believe has made me stand out as a leader — putting my people ahead of myself.
I do believe that some people are born leaders and learn throughout life to become better leaders. One of the best lessons I learned was that it is not about me. When I made the transition from valuing myself to valuing my people, I was transformed as a leader. My mentor John Maxwell, in his book “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect” writes, “When we learn to turn our focus from ourselves to others, the whole world opens up to us.” When you understand this and take the focus away from you, it will change who you are as a leader.
I’d like to share some ways you can work toward valuing your people more:
- View your people as your biggest success. A good leader supports those around them. Your focus should be on developing them, helping them succeed, and watching them grow into the people they want to become. When your people are successful, it is a reflection on you as a leader. Work hard on your people. They are your biggest asset. Without them, your team can fail.
- Acknowledge and appreciate people. Everyone wants to be valued. It is critical as a leader to give your people credit and recognition for the incredible things they do. One of the reasons people leave a job is because they feel underappreciated. A leader should never take the credit for the work that their people do. A good leader is a generous leader who recognizes people. Work recognition into the culture of your team. Make a conscious effort to call out your top producers in a recurring meeting. When others see a coworker being recognized, it infuses motivation into your team. Everyone will work harder to be the next person whose hard work is recognized.
- Know your people. I mean really know them. Sure, you may know their names and their positions and what they are working on, but do you really know them? Do they have children? Do you know where they came from? Do you know what they have done in their lives before they started working with you? Most importantly, do you know their hopes and dreams? Getting to know them in a more personal way will make them feel valued and increase their respect for you as a leader.
- Leave your ego at the door. People are going to do better than you. You will have people on your team who have significant achievements. They may get another degree, get a certification, or move on to a new position. One of the biggest compliments you can receive as a leader is to have one of your people move on to a better opportunity. Be proud, not jealous.
- Empower your people. Everyone wants to be trusted to make decisions. Empower your people to make certain decisions. Do not short change them. Allow them opportunities to shine rather than discounting their abilities and doing it yourself. Do you have a big presentation coming up with your executive team? Allow one of your top performers to give the presentation instead. Being empowered will make them confident and help them strive for larger-than-life goals.
Leadership is both a gift and a privilege. You can erode the cohesion of your team if you fail to value them. Everyone on the team deserves to be valued. Each one of them performs an essential part to keep the engine of your company running. When you can put your people’s needs and interests before your own, you will be a more successful leader.
Leadership: it’s Not About You
Amy Modglin, Community Voice
Forbes Coaching Council
Submitted by Debbie Pack, President-Elect
97.9 The Breeze
The Networker
As I ponder what article to share in the Women’s Networker Newsletter, I search through my stack of books and come across this note I copied:
“Change is more likely to occur as fruit that grows on a tree properly watered, fed, and cared for. More specifically, change is the result of what we dwell on; what we fill our minds with, what we invest our time in.” – Dr. Greg Swenson, Psychologist Rapid City, South Dakota
Finally, I decide the best thing I could share is to encourage people to read more. Take time to read. My boss, Mike Alley, is always bringing in books he has read and talks about audiobooks he is listening to. Every month I receive an email from someone playing the Find-The-Coffee-News-Guy contest and a statement on the email reads, “If librarians ruled the world, reading would be a varsity sport.” I thought that’s terrific, but also sad that it is not true in our world.
As I am reviewing this idea, I read an article in the New Yorker about bibliotherapists.
“Can Reading Make You Happier?” (Ceridwen Dovey, June 9, 2015).
“For all avid readers who have been self-medicating with great books their entire lives, it comes as no surprise that reading books can be good for your mental health and your relationships with others, but exactly why and how is now becoming clearer, thanks to new research on reading’s effects on the brain… A 2011 study published in the Annual Review of Psychology, based on analysis of fMRI brain scans of participants, showed that, when people read about an experience, they display stimulation within the same neurological regions as when they go through that experience themselves. Bibliotherapy is a very broad term for the ancient practice of encouraging reading for therapeutic effect.”
You can read more about this.
Submitted by Lori Paulsen-Sauser, Treasurer
Black Hills Coffee News | Exit Realty Black Hills
Virginia Braun is an entrepreneur at heart. She finds the ideas that she has a passion for and shares them with anyone who may want to know. In doing so she has a history of founding and growing businesses and launching new programs and offerings. As the CEO and consultant of ITAMPros Inc., she provides companies guidance and services for their IT Asset Management needs. As a stylist of Ruby Ribbon, she assists women with ridding their wardrobe of uncomfortable garments and promoting beauty inside and out.