Writer’s Block for Everyone

Writer’s Block for Everyone

(Not) Working from home

A long-suffering reader of mine asked me if I ever struggle with writer’s block. I told her that when it comes to writing, I struggle with many things—laziness, lack of focus, a well-stocked refrigerator just down the hallway—but writer’s block isn’t one of them. That’s because writer’s block is a luxury for people who don’t have deadlines. I don’t think any of my editors would accept it as a valid reason for missing one.

Still I know writer’s block is real. And I can’t help wondering if people in other professions suffer from their own version of it. Do pilots, firefighters and brain surgeons ever feel blocked? I don’t know the answer to that, but for all our sakes, I sincerely hope they don’t.

Writer’s block is a psychological condition in which a writer finds herself unable to create. Her muse has abandoned her. I’m not sure if accountants and emergency medical technicians have muses so it’s possible they don’t experience block—thank goodness. But I think it’s worth exploring the possibility.

Certainly people in all career fields regularly face deadlines and I think most would grudgingly agree that they’re a gift, a practical but not necessarily welcome gift—like getting socks for Christmas. Without some cut-off date, I’m not sure some of us would ever finish anything. I can’t speak for anyone else, but a deadline forces me to engage in the most effective writer’s block prevention technique there is: writing rubbish. I don’t know if there is an equivalent for blocked pilots and brain surgeons, and I never want to find out.

Ideally of course the writer doesn’t stop at rubbish—and neither should the brain surgeon. All my columns follow a very predictable pattern from rubbish to passable: I have an idea I love. I think it’s brilliant. I think it will be the best thing I’ve ever written. I’m excited, inspired and motivated—for about half an hour.  

But sooner or later everything degenerates into work. This is the moment when, were it not for a deadline, I would succumb to a serious case of writer’s block or a rousing game of computer solitaire. They may or may not experience block, but I know for sure there are people in other professions who play solitaire on the job. You know who you are.

When I get to this point, I begin to doubt myself. I wonder why I ever thought the idea would work. I wonder why I didn’t pursue another line of work. Hopefully appliance repair people and trial court judges don’t have to deal with this every time they begin a job.

My deadline is looming so I must resort to writing rubbish until there’s a beginning, an ending and around 500 properly punctuated, grammatically correct but mostly uninspired words in the middle. I’m not happy with what I’ve written, but I could send it off to my editors if something serious came up, say my appendix burst or I had to go to jail for a few days. 

Thankfully neither of these has happened thus far, but if you ever read one of my columns and think it isn’t up to my usual level of mediocrity you can safely assume I’ve either had emergency surgery or I’ve been arrested.

Getting to this stage is always a comfort to me. At this point I start polishing, moving things around, exchanging one thing for another. I hope mechanics and orthopedic surgeons don’t do this. But for me, this part of the process is so fun that if I hadn’t had deadlines for the past 26 years, I might still be working on my first column.

At last I reach the final stage: ready or not, time to send. This is the equivalent of April 15 for accountants, who if they do indeed experience block, can file an extension.

Dorothy Rosby is a humor columnist whose work appears regularly in publications throughout the West and Midwest. She is author of three books of humorous essays all available locally at Mitzi’s Books and on Amazon.

 

Wear Your Pajamas to Work and Other Timesaving Tips

Wear Your Pajamas to Work and Other Timesaving Tips

(Not) Working from home

I read that the average woman spends 16 minutes on weekdays and 14 minutes on Saturdays and Sundays deciding what to wear. That adds up to a whopping 287 days of our lives, standing in front of our closets in our bathrobes, mumbling, “I don’t have a thing to wear!”

The average man spends somewhat less time choosing an outfit—only 13 minutes—which is why I think men should be responsible for cooking breakfast.
I’m well below average—as is often the case. There’s no way I’m spending that much time agonizing over what to wear. I work at home, so deciding what I’m going to wear is a matter of grabbing the first pair of sweatpants I come across when I’m digging in the dryer.

But I used to work outside of my home and I developed the following powerful strategies for deciding what to wear in far less than 16 minutes. As you’ll see, they are mainly based on the simple premise that choosing is always easier when you have less to choose from. Use these tips and you’ll be on time for work every day, though I can’t speak to how you’ll look when you get there.

      1. I couldn’t choose it if I couldn’t find it and half an hour before work was not a good time to be looking for it. It’s amazing how often I couldn’t find it. 
      2. I couldn’t choose it if it wasn’t clean and depending on how caught up I was on laundry, that could narrow my choices considerably. 
      3. I considered the thermostat. For most people, the weather report is a determining factor when they’re choosing what to wear. But weather only matters if you’re a construction worker or a ranch hand and you work all day outdoors. If you mainly spend your days indoors like I do, consider the thermostat instead. I tend to be on the chilly side, so a useful weather report for me would read like this: “Dress in layers if you’re heading to XYZ Business. The owner is a woman of a certain age, and she keeps that place as cold as a meat locker. Likewise it will be 40-45 degrees at the movies this evening. The butter on your popcorn will harden before you get to your seat, but the ice in your beverage should last you through the credits.” 
      4. I considered my day. What will I be doing, how many people will see me doing it and how judgmental are those people? Will I be on my feet a lot? If so, I should avoid certain shoes if I still want to be walking tomorrow. Will I be sitting a lot? I have pants that would cut me in half by the end of the day. 
      5. Finally, I considered how much time I had before I had to be at work. There were many days I didn’t have 16 minutes to get ready, let alone decide what to wear. I never went to work in the clothes I slept in, but if I hit the snooze button too many times, I may have looked like it.

These days I definitely look like I slept in my work clothes. That’s because I do. Or rather I work in my sleep clothes, which I don’t recommend unless you work at home too.

Most days, I crawl out of bed and go directly to my computer. Eventually, I’m overcome by shame that I’m still in my pajamas, so I change into sweatpants for the rest of the day. If anyone dropped by, they’d think I teach aerobics in my home. Yes, it’s embarrassing but think of all the time I’m saving.

Dorothy Rosby is a humor columnist whose work appears regularly in publications throughout the West and Midwest. She is author of three books of humorous essays all available locally at Mitzi’s Books and on Amazon.

(Not) Working from Home

(Not) Working from Home

(Not) Working from home

 

A lot of us are working from home now, so I think this is a good time to discuss why we’re not getting anything done.

I’m an expert on not getting anything done, and I can tell you, it’s not our fault. At home, our attention is often demanded by family members, pets and snack cupboards.

Some people get sidetracked by chores. They head to their office, pass by a pile of laundry and can’t resist the urge to fold it. Thankfully I can usually withstand that temptation.

Then there’s technology. On their own, the following are plenty effective at distracting. They’re even better at it when we didn’t want to do our work anyway.  

Internet rabbit holes: I often go to the internet for research, but if I’m not careful, I fall down a rabbit hole and forget what I’m researching. Let me demonstrate: I’d like another way to say “rabbit hole” because it’s cliché and as a professional writer, I avoid clichés like the plague. 

I type “rabbit hole” into my search bar and discover that a play called Rabbit Hole won a Pulitzer for Drama in 2007. It was later made into a movie starring Nicole Kidman who, incidentally, is currently self-isolating with her adorable cavoodle puppy. I’ve never heard of a cavoodle. It’s highlighted so I click on it. The road to hell is paved with hyperlinks. 

A cavoodle is a cross between a poodle and a cavalier King Charles spaniel and it’s one of Australia’s most popular breeds. Isn’t Nicole Kidman from Australia? Quick search. She is! And she’s married to Keith Urban who, hyperlink click, also once lived in Australia. I wonder if that’s where they met. And how he feels about the cavoodle. An hour has passed and I decide to stick with “rabbit hole” or I’ll never finish this. 

Email overload: I get more emails than Santa gets letters and it’s my fault. I’ve signed up for every quote of the day and tip of the week there is for writers. There’s so much wisdom in my inbox. Why write when I could read about writing?  

There’s also a lot of hooey in there. I’d never get anything done if I didn’t turn the sound down on my computer so it doesn’t ding every time Dr. Fungus emails me. Clearly he’s working at home, and he’s been joined by sellers of masks and hand sanitizer who I’m sure are as trustworthy as he is. 

Phone notifications: A guest in my home had her phone notifications set to bark every time she got a text. Naturally, this got everyone’s attention, especially the cat’s. 

If my phone barked every time I got a message, this column would be late and I’d never see my cat again. I have to leave notifications off and set my phone to vibrate for calls. Sure I miss some, but most of them are about my vehicle warranty expiring and I’ve already heard that. 

Social media: This is the most distracting of all because there’s so much fascinating information on Facebook and the rest. Today, a woman I follow on Twitter asked this interesting question: How tall are you? She had hundreds of responses. Can’t those people see they’re wasting time? By the way, I’m 5 feet 6. Nicole Kidman is 5 feet 11. I looked it up. 

(Dorothy Rosby is the author of three humor books including her latest, I Didn’t Know You Could Make Birthday Cake from Scratch: Parenting Blunders from Cradle to Empty Nest.)  

Dorothy Rosby

www.dorothyrosby.com

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Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Be Ticked off About:

Humorous Essays on the Hassles of Our Time

Staying top-of-mind in a topsy-turvy environment

Staying top-of-mind in a topsy-turvy environment

Staying top-of-mind in a topsy-turvy environment

By Shaina Hargens

 

Shaina Hargens headshotStaying top of mind is something you can systemize and strategize, WITHOUT being overwhelmed by online clutter or left with the feeling of being inadequate.

As we work through this together, remember, you can start with the easy ones – the ones that come NATURAL. We will still need to work to make them habit; habits are not formed overnight and they are perfected as we go.

Note: look for the link to the workbook at the end!

“They may forget what you said, but they will
never forget how you made them feel.” Carl W. Buechner

#1 Gratitude can be interchanged with appreciation for business purposes. What do these words mean to you? What emotions do they evoke? What do you think your customer feels when it’s received? Get creative with how you show gratitude – this is where YOU shine. This is where YOU come out on top – because the other people they called and canceled on ghosted them – because the last order they placed with someone else didn’t come with a personal thank you note.

This is what keeps you top of HEART!

#2 Connection is where business can sometimes be completely in the background! Connection is what makes you referable and part of the community, as a whole. See where I am going with this? This is your community – make it your playground – share your toys – pet their virtual dogs… ok I went too far. OH WELL. You get the point. NO ONE ELSE on their ‘friends list’ is celebrating with them as much as you are!

You are almost there.

#3 Value; you know what you know! It’s valuable – you put in hours of certification training – hours of product knowledge, testing and implementing. You have useful #PROTIPS to share with your audience.

It really doesn’t matter what you share for a couple reasons:

1. They don’t listen half the time.
2. They are not in your field of expertise but they love YOU and your offering.
3. Free info is free – you don’t have to give away the farm.
4. ONLY when money is exchanged does action take place.

BONUS: What if you gave away so much GRATITUDE, CONNECTION and VALUE that someone wanted to work for you or join your team or pay for your mentorship?!?!?!

Now, don’t get overwhelmed – we still need to limit screen time and be present at home BUT we can make our time online so much more intentional and genuine. Your business will flourish through all adversity. These principles are timeless – and now is your time to make them YOURS to make them WORK for you.

toma to tactical thumb

Download this workbook to EXPAND this article into WORKABLE implementation that works for YOU and how YOU work!

The HUGE level of human touch that these new habits provide you will, not only magnify and celebrate what you do have, but ELEVATE YOU.

 

Someday When I’m Social Distancing

Someday When I’m Social Distancing

Someday When I’m Social Distancing

Someday When I’m Social Distancing

 

I once wrote a column with the prophetic title, “Someday When I’m Quarantined.” In it, I vowed that if I were ever unable to leave my home for a few months, I’d finally do all of the things I don’t normally have time to do. I’d put my old photos into albums, clean my closets and take up my guitar again, much to the annoyance of anyone quarantined with me.

It was just big talk though. I never thought it would really happen. But here we are and I’m happy to report that all my closets are now clean, my photos are organized and I’m practicing my guitar for an hour every day. You don’t believe me? I dare you to drop by and check. No. Don’t do that.

But you’re right. I’m a couple of weeks into social distancing, and my closets are still a mess. I don’t even know where my box of photos is, and I gave my guitar away a few months ago out of consideration for my husband. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last few weeks, it’s that a full calendar wasn’t the only thing keeping me from putting my photos in albums.

Still, I feel like I’m handling this crisis fairly well. I’d go so far as to say social distancing and sheltering in place are two of my talents. Some people can sing. Others can paint. I can shelter in place.

I’m an introverted writer who’s used to working from home. And I lived through many South Dakota blizzards in a three-bedroom home with nine siblings. Hunkering down with my husband, my cat and my canary is easy for me, though I can’t speak for them.

I hope things are going as smoothly for you and the people you love—or used to love. It would be a shame to survive the pandemic only to have your spouse divorce you and your children run away from home after it’s all over.

When you must stay home, and mostly you must, my advice is to have a really big house. I’m joking! If you’re like me, this crisis has reminded you what’s truly important in life: family, health and toilet paper.

When it comes to family, I think we should see this as an opportunity to bond, so bond away for as long as you’re on speaking terms. Sit down at the dinner table with the family you rarely saw before COVID-19. Play board games, have movie nights and spend time in meaningful conversations. And when the conversations cease to be meaningful, you can all take out your phones and stare at them. You know, like you did before the pandemic.

Maybe you live alone and don’t have anyone to grow to despise during all this forced togetherness. I recommend you take full advantage of social media. There are plenty of people on Facebook and Twitter who can get on your nerves as well as any loved one can.

If you’re struggling with boredom, follow the example set by spammers and scammers who all seem to be working very hard from home these days. Stay busy. Trust me. Someday you’ll wish you’d cleaned your closets when you had the chance. I know I will.

Finally, it helps to have an attitude of gratitude. As for me, I’m grateful I’m not essential personnel and that one of the best ways I can help is by staying out of the way. I’m doing good by doing less. How often can you say that?

My husband is counting his blessings too. He’s thankful that we’re both healthy, that we have adequate supplies and that I gave away my guitar.

(Dorothy Rosby is an author and syndicated humor columnist.)

Public Speaking for Chickens, Part 2 Scaring Away Stage Fright

Public Speaking for Chickens, Part 2 Scaring Away Stage Fright

Public speaking for chickens

Let’s say your child’s teacher calls and asks if you’ll present a talk about your work to her class. Or your boss wants you to present at an event she can’t attend. In a moment of enthusiasm, or maybe because you can’t think of a good excuse not to, you agree. Whatever the case, you hang up the phone and immediately start to panic. “What was I thinking? I HATE speaking in front of groups.” And you begin plotting a way to get out of it.

Stop right there. Why not use that energy for something more productive? In the last Networker, (READ IT HERE!) I promised to share some tips from my class, Public Speaking for Chickens: The Class for People Who Have Something to Crow About but Are Too Afraid to Do It. The following all help ease nervousness, but they also make presentations more effective, even for people who don’t suffer from speech anxiety.

What you do to prepare is as important as what happens the day of the speech. The more you sweat up front, the less you sweat on stage. With that in mind…

(1) Learn all you can about your audience, then tailor your speech to them.

You’ll want to use different tactics for the school board than you will for your bowling league. They’ll want you to also, even if you’re talking about the same topic. Every group has different needs, different levels of understanding and even different language. The more appropriate you make your presentation to your audience, the more comfortable they’ll be. And the more comfortable they are, the more comfortable they’ll make you with their interest.

(2) Learn all you can.

Learn all you can about the occasion, the rest of the agenda, and the equipment, if any, you’ll be using. This will help you feel prepared.

(3) Organize your talk in logical order.

This makes it easier for you to learn and remember and also keeps you from rambling, a real danger when we know a topic well but are not organized. If you’d like, make some notes to use the day of your talk. Using notes is fine as long as you only use them as a reference. Never read your presentation to the group.

 

(4) Practice.

It’s better to practice once or twice a day over a few days than to practice ten times the morning of a talk. It helps get you past memorization to a point where your presentation becomes part of you. Practice also helps keep you from rambling and allows you to time your talk so you stay within the time limits the group has set for you. When an audience thinks you should be done talking, they stop listening.

(5) Stop the negative self-talk.

Tell yourself, “I know this topic. That’s why they invited me.”

Your audience deserves your preparation, and so do you. In the next issue, I’ll share some tips for the day of your talk, or what I like to call the “Wake up and hope there’s a blizzard,” phase of speech preparation. Hint: There almost never is.

(Dorothy Rosby is a speaker, author and syndicated humor columnist.)

Dorothy Rosby

Public Speaking for Chickens

Public Speaking for Chickens

I never believed the notion that people fear public speaking more than death. Given the choice, speak or die, I think most people would speak and you wouldn’t be able to shut them up. A career that involves a lot of public speaking has taught me that speaking is almost always preferable to dying.
 
But I do think the fear of public speaking stands between many people and their dreams. I’ve taught a class on public speaking to a variety of groups over the years. I call the class Public Speaking for Chickens: The Class for People Who Have Something to Crow About but Are Too Afraid to Do It. In it, I discuss things speakers can do before and during a presentation to make themselves more comfortable and their talk more effective. You can see an abbreviated version on my website www.dorothyrosby.com or click the video image thumbnail below.

In future Networker columns, I’ll be sharing a few of the tips I discuss in the class. In the meantime, if a fear of public speaking is holding you back, I encourage you to look for opportunities to speak and when they arise, take them. You’ll grow as a communicator, and other parts of your life may fall into place too. I know that because it worked for me.

After college, I was living in a small town in Iowa working as a radio announcer six evenings a week. That meant I had no social life. Then an acquaintance invited me to attend a Toastmasters meeting. Toastmasters is an international organization with local clubs around the world. Members practice their public speaking and leadership skills at meetings week after week. That’s the kind of practice that helps you get better at anything. But I didn’t care about that at the time. The club’s meetings fit my schedule and I thought it would be a fun way to meet people. Turns out it was, and the kind of people I like to meet: Motivated people from all walks of life who want to improve themselves and their community.

But Toastmasters also put me on a path. Being able to put public speaking experience on my resume helped me land the public relations job I had at Black Hills Works for 31 years. And doing humorous speeches in Toastmasters eventually led to my humor column. Learning to speak to groups put me on a path I might not be on otherwise.

Whatever your goals are, I can guarantee that working to improve your public speaking skills will help you get there. You gain confidence, meet people and learn to sell your ideas. Below is a list of local Toastmaster clubs. I’d encourage you to check them out. Any one of them would welcome you.

Top 5 Toastmasters
Black Hills Works
3650 Range Road, Rapid City
(605) 343-6287
Meets noon Mondays

Mount Rushmore Club
Rapid City Public Library
610 Quincy Street, Rapid City
605-255-5507
Meet 5:30 pm, 1st & 3rd Wednesdays

Skyline Club
Canyon Lake United Methodist Church
3500 Canyon Lake Drive
605-393-6077
Meets 7 am, Saturdays

(Dorothy Rosby is a speaker, author and syndicated humor columnist.)

Dorothy Rosby
Author of Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, coming soon
www.dorothyrosby.com

Find me on Facebook   Twitter    LinkedIn
I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better

Kannan Harms

Kannan Harms

Spotlight Winner

Meet Kannan Harms

Kannan HarmsKannan Harms is woven into the fabric of helping home buyers discover their American Dream. As a mortgage banker with Dacotah Bank in Rapid City, she has become an expert in discovering the best financing option for her customers. She said the laws have changed quite a bit in the decade she’s been working in mortgage, but one thing she has stayed loyal to is being completely transparent and honest with her customers. Kannan said “I started as a temp in a mortgage processing center in Spearfish and fully expected to find something more “artsy” eventually. But God had a completely different plan and before I knew it, I was working full time in the housing industry…and loving it! As they say, the rest is history.” Kannan is always looking for ways to impact the Black Hills area and enjoys volunteering and supporting local non-profits in the community. Her favorite time is spent with her husband Jonathan and toddler Margot.  

Kannan Harms – Mortgage Banker
Dacotah Bank – 125 Main Street – Rapid City, SD 57701
Phone: (605) 394-9000   Mobile: (605) 430-2925
NMLS#1170246

Dakotah Bank

20/20 in 2020

20/20 in 2020

Happy 2020! I hope you saw in the New Year at a raucous gathering with lots of friends and loud music. Unless you’re like me. Then I hope you didn’t. Then I hope you had a quiet evening with a few loved ones and fell asleep early despite the racket next door.

My preference is to bid the old year a gentle goodnight around ten o’clock, then wake up before my family does on New Year’s Day and sit by the Christmas tree with my cat, my caffeine and my journal.

I’m a morning person. That means New Year’s Day is more meaningful to me than New Year’s Eve, if only because I’m awake for it.

I suspect I’m in the minority though. A quick internet search reveals hundreds of New Year’s Eve traditions here and around the globe. There are some common ingredients: alcohol, food, fireworks, alcohol, kissing, bells and alcohol, and none of those on New Year’s morning. As the designated driver at every party I go to, I can only guess that the alcohol allows the revelers to forget the worst of the past year and start the new one off just as badly. 

My New Year’s routine is my effort to not only start the new year off right, but to close out the old one well too. 

I’ve never been one to make New Year’s resolutions probably because I’ve never been one to keep New Year’s resolutions. Instead I see the holiday as the perfect time to recommit to what’s important to me: my family, my spiritual life, my health and my passion for writing.

I start by writing down my thoughts about the year that was. What am I grateful for? What did I accomplish? Where did I fall short? What did I learn? Hindsight is 20/20, you know. And there you have it: My first bad pun of the New Year.

Then I look to the year ahead. No 20/20 for that, just that wonderful feeling of optimism that accompanies New Year’s Day for those of us who aren’t suffering with a hangover. What do I want to do differently? How can I use what I learned to make the next year better? What are my goals? What do I dream about and hope for? How can I make a difference by doing what I do best?

To me it’s about steady growth over the years rather than the sudden transformations that New Year’s resolutions sometimes demand. Incidentally, this is the same early morning check-in I like to start my birthday with, only without the Christmas tree. My birthday is in August and usually we get it down by then.

Whatever your New Year’s routine, I wish you a perfect 2020 and not just in hindsight.
 
(Dorothy Rosby is a syndicated humor columnist and the author of three humor books, including the soon-to-be-released Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, Humorous Essays on the Hazards of Our Time.)
 
Dorothy Rosby
Author of Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, coming soon
www.dorothyrosby.com
 
Find me on Facebook   Twitter    LinkedIn
I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better

Kathy Jones

Kathy Jones

Spotlight Winner

Meet Kathy Jones

Kathy JonesKathy has lived most of her life in South Dakota.  She grew up in McLaughlin with two sisters and all three of them attended Westmar College in LeMars, Ia.  All of them also became teachers.  Kathy then lived in Iowa for 12 years when she was married and had two children, Kelly and Mikel.  Now she is a grandmother to five, four boys and one girl. 

Additional careers since that time include telephone and business machines sales, admissions counselor for NAU and BHSU and now the Executive director for SeekLearnGrow.  With a Masters Degree in Leadership from BHSU, she started the nonprofit organization called SeekLearnGrow, which helps adults return to school.  Their website is www.seeklearngrow.org and they post on Facebook and Instagram.

Her main hobbies include time with grandkids and selling Nikken Natural Health products.  She has a Linked In account and her contact information is 605-545-1232 or kjonesrc@gmail.com.