By Dorothy Rosby
I read somewhere that the average person thinks 60,000 thoughts every day. That sounds like a lot. But that’s if you’re average, and really, how many of us can say that?
The author went on to say that no matter how many thoughts you have, 95% of them are the same ones you had yesterday. Ouch! That makes me feel so shallow. And it did yesterday too.
I don’t know if I even have 60,000 thoughts per day, but if I ever start counting, I’m pretty sure I’ll have fewer of them. “Where did I put my car keys?” That’s one. “What about my sunglasses?” That’s two. “Why can’t I learn to put my sunglasses and my keys in the same place every day?” That’s three—all of which I had today, yesterday and pretty much every day last week. You can see how counting would discourage deep thought.
Like many other startling facts I’ve seen on the internet, these two may not even be…uh…factual. An email I received recently claimed red cars are stopped for speeding more often than any other color of car. That’s probably true when you compare red cars that are speeding with other cars that are not. Or there’s that “fact” that periodically makes the rounds on the internet about how more people are killed by donkeys than by airline accidents. There’s probably no way to prove that since, as far as I know, no one keeps records of donkey-induced fatalities. If it were a problem, I would think someone would be keeping stats.
I apologize for getting off track, but it did give you something to think about, didn’t it? And that’s the point. I don’t know about you, but if I were honest with myself, which I seldom am, I would have to admit that many of the thoughts I’m having today are the same ones I had yesterday and probably the day before that. Besides “Where are my keys and my sunglasses,” there’s “What am I going to make for dinner,” “Why can’t my stomach be flat” and “There must be something in the water in Washington, D.C.”
I know my life would be more interesting if I could think some new thoughts. I would probably be more interesting too. You’re already very interesting, but I’m going to make some suggestions anyway.
Ways to Have New Thoughts
Try new things. I’ve never had a burning desire to try sky diving or bungee jumping. I worry that certain new experiences might kill me, and dead people are not known for their abundance of new thoughts. But I have tried rappelling, the cha-cha and quail eggs.
Read. I read whatever is in front of me, including cereal boxes, which recently inspired several new thoughts: “Why wasn’t my box of Mini-Wheats the one with the $100 gift card inside?” And “What is tripotassium phosphate and why are they putting it in my Cheerios?” But when it comes to mysteries, I prefer mine in a book. Murder mystery novels prompt many thoughts: “Whodunit? What was the motive? And what was that noise I just heard in my basement?”
Travel. Traveling is also a great way to trigger new thoughts. Some possibilities include: “Why do hot dogs cost $20 when you’re away from home,” “Did I remember to lock the front door when I left” and “Thank goodness I’m flying and not riding a donkey.”
Dorothy Rosby is a syndicated humor columnist and the author of four books of humorous essays all available locally at Mitzi’s Books and on Amazon.