The secret to career success can be summed up in six little words: Fake It ’Til You Make It. I’ve read many Fake-It-’Til-You-Make-It tips in business publications, and while it should be fairly obvious that none of them have worked for me, I’m going to share them with you anyway.

            First of all, you must dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Or, to put it another way, look the part, even if you don’t have the part. I’m quite happy with the job I have, but I work at home which is lucky. My dress code in my home office could give the impression that I’d like to teach aerobics for a living.

            You’ll also want to appear busy and in demand, even if you aren’t. That’s why you should never admit that your appointment book is empty. When trying to set up an appointment with a colleague, study your blank calendar, shake your head, and say, “Hmmmm…no… But I might be able to stop by at 10 o’clock on Tuesday. But to be safe, let’s make it 10:15 or even 10:16.” You can see how that would inspire more confidence in a potential business associate than if you said, “My week is wide open. In fact, other than a dentist appointment on Wednesday, I don’t have a single thing going.”

            On your way up the corporate ladder, you’ll eventually find yourself dining in the presence of other successful people—or fakers, as the case may be. Nothing I read on the subject put it quite this way, but I think the rule for business dining is the same as for dining on a first date: Never order anything that comes with a wet wipe.

            A small amount of messiness in your office implies friendliness, but too much clutter may cause your visitors to believe you don’t care what they think—which may be true. On the other hand, too clean of an office conveys coldness as well as the impression that you don’t have enough work to do, the danger being that a co-worker might give you some of hers.

            Walking too slowly in the workplace also gives the impression that you don’t have enough to do. I’ve already discussed why you don’t want anyone thinking that. 

On the other hand, running around like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off may give the impression that you’re disorganized and have no authority, since, as you know, chickens have almost no say in the workplace.

Still I find this tip confusing. Ask yourself how Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey walk into their offices. I’m pretty sure the answer is any way they want to.

            Speak up at meetings. Career experts say that employees who speak up first at meetings are seen as more self-confident than those who make comments at the end. I guess it’s best to jump right in. Talk about your weekend if that’s all you can think of.

            Finally, experts agree, you should start earlier and work later than the boss. That means that around 4:30 every afternoon, you should ask your supervisor, “What time do you think you’ll be leaving today? And any idea when you’ll be here in the morning?”

Dorothy Rosby is a blogger and humor columnist whose column appears regularly in publications throughout the West and Midwest. She’s the author of four books of humorous essays all available locally at Mitzi’s Books in Rapid City and on Amazon.