Aah, the perfect gift. You’re loved one will cherish it for years to come. They’ll tell everyone they know about it. And they’ll think of you fondly every time they use it, which you hope will make up for the way they think of you the rest of the time. But if you wait until the last minute, you’re far more likely to purchase one of the following types of gifts for your loved one. They’ll tell everyone about these too.
1) The gift you give because you want the receiver to have it. In fact, you need the receiver to have it—like when you give your messy co-worker a desk organizer or your college-aged child a broom for his dorm room. You’re convinced that if you wrap a hair remover gadget or a gift certificate for tattoo removal in beautiful paper and put a bow on it, the recipient will see it as a thoughtful gift instead of what it really is: an underhanded way to bring them around to your way of thinking.
2) The gift you give because you want it for yourself. Based on the shape, size and weight of the packages under the tree, you’re pretty sure no one got it for you, so you buy it on a whim. You feel guilty immediately, as you should. But you tell yourself the same story you plan to tell your loved one: You bought them the wine making starter kit or the quilting supplies so the two of you could spend more quality time together. The danger is that, out of spite, they may not even let you have the gift after the divorce.
3) The gift you give because you don’t have a single idea and you’re flat out of time to come up with one. The pressure is on. The store is crowded with panicked shoppers fighting over the last Stinky Pig game. You’ve heard the Chipmunks sing “Christmas Don’t Be Late,” one too many times over the intercom. And you know yourself well enough to know that if you don’t find a gift fast, someone is going to get run over and not by a reindeer.
I’ve got a better idea. Many Women’s Network members have products perfect for gift giving and they’d be happy to help you. Call any of the following before you break down and buy a talking trout.
- Jayne Heying-Bilka — Mary Kay cosmetics and other personal care items
jheyingbilka@gmail.com (605)381-6561 - Kathy Monington — Pampered Chef kitchen tools, food products, and cookbooks
pamperedkdm@midco.net (605)791-0171 - Jamie Clark—Young Living Essential Oils (605)786-3358
- Monique Heizelman—PartyLite candles and home décor products (605)786-5342.
- Vesta Wells Johnson—Songs My Mother Loved, Pop Songs From the 40’s and 50’s and The Moon is Hiding (lullaby/ relaxation) CDs
(605)348-6963 cdr44@rap.midco.net. - And me too. I’ve written two books of humor (605)391-0028 or drosby@rushmore.com
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Forgive me if I missed anyone. This is what I gathered from the website, my stack of business cards and my feeble memory. If you aren’t on the website directory, now would be a good time to take care of that. Hint hint.
Dorothy Rosby is a syndicated humor columnist, author and speaker. www.dorothyrosby.com.
Dorothy Rosby
Author of Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, coming soon
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I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better