Happy 2020! I hope you saw in the New Year at a raucous gathering with lots of friends and loud music. Unless you’re like me. Then I hope you didn’t. Then I hope you had a quiet evening with a few loved ones and fell asleep early despite the racket next door.

My preference is to bid the old year a gentle goodnight around ten o’clock, then wake up before my family does on New Year’s Day and sit by the Christmas tree with my cat, my caffeine and my journal.

I’m a morning person. That means New Year’s Day is more meaningful to me than New Year’s Eve, if only because I’m awake for it.

I suspect I’m in the minority though. A quick internet search reveals hundreds of New Year’s Eve traditions here and around the globe. There are some common ingredients: alcohol, food, fireworks, alcohol, kissing, bells and alcohol, and none of those on New Year’s morning. As the designated driver at every party I go to, I can only guess that the alcohol allows the revelers to forget the worst of the past year and start the new one off just as badly. 

My New Year’s routine is my effort to not only start the new year off right, but to close out the old one well too. 

I’ve never been one to make New Year’s resolutions probably because I’ve never been one to keep New Year’s resolutions. Instead I see the holiday as the perfect time to recommit to what’s important to me: my family, my spiritual life, my health and my passion for writing.

I start by writing down my thoughts about the year that was. What am I grateful for? What did I accomplish? Where did I fall short? What did I learn? Hindsight is 20/20, you know. And there you have it: My first bad pun of the New Year.

Then I look to the year ahead. No 20/20 for that, just that wonderful feeling of optimism that accompanies New Year’s Day for those of us who aren’t suffering with a hangover. What do I want to do differently? How can I use what I learned to make the next year better? What are my goals? What do I dream about and hope for? How can I make a difference by doing what I do best?

To me it’s about steady growth over the years rather than the sudden transformations that New Year’s resolutions sometimes demand. Incidentally, this is the same early morning check-in I like to start my birthday with, only without the Christmas tree. My birthday is in August and usually we get it down by then.

Whatever your New Year’s routine, I wish you a perfect 2020 and not just in hindsight.
 
(Dorothy Rosby is a syndicated humor columnist and the author of three humor books, including the soon-to-be-released Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, Humorous Essays on the Hazards of Our Time.)
 
Dorothy Rosby
Author of Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, coming soon
www.dorothyrosby.com
 
Find me on Facebook   Twitter    LinkedIn
I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better

Aah, the perfect gift. You’re loved one will cherish it for years to come. They’ll tell everyone they know about it. And they’ll think of you fondly every time they use it, which you hope will make up for the way they think of you the rest of the time. But if you wait until the last minute, you’re far more likely to purchase one of the following types of gifts for your loved one. They’ll tell everyone about these too.
 

1) The gift you give because you want the receiver to have it. In fact, you need the receiver to have it—like when you give your messy co-worker a desk organizer or your college-aged child a broom for his dorm room. You’re convinced that if you wrap a hair remover gadget or a gift certificate for tattoo removal in beautiful paper and put a bow on it, the recipient will see it as a thoughtful gift instead of what it really is: an underhanded way to bring them around to your way of thinking. 
 

2) The gift you give because you want it for yourself. Based on the shape, size and weight of the packages under the tree, you’re pretty sure no one got it for you, so you buy it on a whim. You feel guilty immediately, as you should. But you tell yourself the same story you plan to tell your loved one: You bought them the wine making starter kit or the quilting supplies so the two of you could spend more quality time together. The danger is that, out of spite, they may not even let you have the gift after the divorce. 
 

3) The gift you give because you don’t have a single idea and you’re flat out of time to come up with one. The pressure is on. The store is crowded with panicked shoppers fighting over the last Stinky Pig game. You’ve heard the Chipmunks sing “Christmas Don’t Be Late,” one too many times over the intercom. And you know yourself well enough to know that if you don’t find a gift fast, someone is going to get run over and not by a reindeer. 
 

I’ve got a better idea. Many Women’s Network members have products perfect for gift giving and they’d be happy to help you. Call any of the following before you break down and buy a talking trout.

• Jayne Heying-Bilka — Mary Kay cosmetics and other personal care items
  jheyingbilka@gmail.com (605)381-6561 
• Kathy Monington — Pampered Chef kitchen tools, food products, and cookbooks
  pamperedkdm@midco.net (605)791-0171 
• Jamie Clark—Young Living Essential Oils (605)786-3358 
• Monique Heizelman—PartyLite candles and home décor products (605)786-5342.
• Vesta Wells Johnson—Songs My Mother Loved, Pop Songs From the 40’s and 50’s and The Moon is Hiding (lullaby/ relaxation) CDs
  (605)348-6963 cdr44@rap.midco.net.
• And me too. I’ve written two books of humor (605)391-0028 or drosby@rushmore.com
  .

Forgive me if I missed anyone. This is what I gathered from the website, my stack of business cards and my feeble memory. If you aren’t on the website directory, now would be a good time to take care of that. Hint hint.

Dorothy Rosby is a syndicated humor columnist, author and speaker. www.dorothyrosby.com.

Dorothy Rosby

Author of Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, coming soon

www.dorothyrosby.com

Find me on Facebook  Twitter   LinkedIn

I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better