I read that the average woman spends 16 minutes on weekdays and 14 minutes on Saturdays and Sundays deciding what to wear. That adds up to a whopping 287 days of our lives, standing in front of our closets in our bathrobes, mumbling, “I don’t have a thing to wear!”

The average man spends somewhat less time choosing an outfit—only 13 minutes—which is why I think men should be responsible for cooking breakfast.
I’m well below average—as is often the case. There’s no way I’m spending that much time agonizing over what to wear. I work at home, so deciding what I’m going to wear is a matter of grabbing the first pair of sweatpants I come across when I’m digging in the dryer.

But I used to work outside of my home and I developed the following powerful strategies for deciding what to wear in far less than 16 minutes. As you’ll see, they are mainly based on the simple premise that choosing is always easier when you have less to choose from. Use these tips and you’ll be on time for work every day, though I can’t speak to how you’ll look when you get there.

1. 1. 1. I couldn’t choose it if I couldn’t find it and half an hour before work was not a good time to be looking for it. It’s amazing how often I couldn’t find it. 
      2. I couldn’t choose it if it wasn’t clean and depending on how caught up I was on laundry, that could narrow my choices considerably. 
      3. I considered the thermostat. For most people, the weather report is a determining factor when they’re choosing what to wear. But weather only matters if you’re a construction worker or a ranch hand and you work all day outdoors. If you mainly spend your days indoors like I do, consider the thermostat instead. I tend to be on the chilly side, so a useful weather report for me would read like this: “Dress in layers if you’re heading to XYZ Business. The owner is a woman of a certain age, and she keeps that place as cold as a meat locker. Likewise it will be 40-45 degrees at the movies this evening. The butter on your popcorn will harden before you get to your seat, but the ice in your beverage should last you through the credits.” 
      4. I considered my day. What will I be doing, how many people will see me doing it and how judgmental are those people? Will I be on my feet a lot? If so, I should avoid certain shoes if I still want to be walking tomorrow. Will I be sitting a lot? I have pants that would cut me in half by the end of the day. 
      5. Finally, I considered how much time I had before I had to be at work. There were many days I didn’t have 16 minutes to get ready, let alone decide what to wear. I never went to work in the clothes I slept in, but if I hit the snooze button too many times, I may have looked like it.
         

These days I definitely look like I slept in my work clothes. That’s because I do. Or rather I work in my sleep clothes, which I don’t recommend unless you work at home too.

Most days, I crawl out of bed and go directly to my computer. Eventually, I’m overcome by shame that I’m still in my pajamas, so I change into sweatpants for the rest of the day. If anyone dropped by, they’d think I teach aerobics in my home. Yes, it’s embarrassing but think of all the time I’m saving.

Dorothy Rosby is a humor columnist whose work appears regularly in publications throughout the West and Midwest. She is author of three books of humorous essays all available locally at Mitzi’s Books and on Amazon.

A lot of us are working from home now, so I think this is a good time to discuss why we’re not getting anything done.

I’m an expert on not getting anything done, and I can tell you, it’s not our fault. At home, our attention is often demanded by family members, pets and snack cupboards.

Some people get sidetracked by chores. They head to their office, pass by a pile of laundry and can’t resist the urge to fold it. Thankfully I can usually withstand that temptation.

Then there’s technology. On their own, the following are plenty effective at distracting. They’re even better at it when we didn’t want to do our work anyway.  

Internet rabbit holes: I often go to the internet for research, but if I’m not careful, I fall down a rabbit hole and forget what I’m researching. Let me demonstrate: I’d like another way to say “rabbit hole” because it’s cliché and as a professional writer, I avoid clichés like the plague. 

I type “rabbit hole” into my search bar and discover that a play called Rabbit Hole won a Pulitzer for Drama in 2007. It was later made into a movie starring Nicole Kidman who, incidentally, is currently self-isolating with her adorable cavoodle puppy. I’ve never heard of a cavoodle. It’s highlighted so I click on it. The road to hell is paved with hyperlinks. 

A cavoodle is a cross between a poodle and a cavalier King Charles spaniel and it’s one of Australia’s most popular breeds. Isn’t Nicole Kidman from Australia? Quick search. She is! And she’s married to Keith Urban who, hyperlink click, also once lived in Australia. I wonder if that’s where they met. And how he feels about the cavoodle. An hour has passed and I decide to stick with “rabbit hole” or I’ll never finish this. 

Email overload: I get more emails than Santa gets letters and it’s my fault. I’ve signed up for every quote of the day and tip of the week there is for writers. There’s so much wisdom in my inbox. Why write when I could read about writing?  

There’s also a lot of hooey in there. I’d never get anything done if I didn’t turn the sound down on my computer so it doesn’t ding every time Dr. Fungus emails me. Clearly he’s working at home, and he’s been joined by sellers of masks and hand sanitizer who I’m sure are as trustworthy as he is. 

Phone notifications: A guest in my home had her phone notifications set to bark every time she got a text. Naturally, this got everyone’s attention, especially the cat’s. 

If my phone barked every time I got a message, this column would be late and I’d never see my cat again. I have to leave notifications off and set my phone to vibrate for calls. Sure I miss some, but most of them are about my vehicle warranty expiring and I’ve already heard that. 

Social media: This is the most distracting of all because there’s so much fascinating information on Facebook and the rest. Today, a woman I follow on Twitter asked this interesting question: How tall are you? She had hundreds of responses. Can’t those people see they’re wasting time? By the way, I’m 5 feet 6. Nicole Kidman is 5 feet 11. I looked it up. 

(Dorothy Rosby is the author of three humor books including her latest, I Didn’t Know You Could Make Birthday Cake from Scratch: Parenting Blunders from Cradle to Empty Nest.)  

Dorothy Rosby

www.dorothyrosby.com

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Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Be Ticked off About:

Humorous Essays on the Hassles of Our Time

By Shaina Hargens

Staying top of mind is something you can systemize and strategize, WITHOUT being overwhelmed by online clutter or left with the feeling of being inadequate.

As we work through this together, remember, you can start with the easy ones – the ones that come NATURAL. We will still need to work to make them habit; habits are not formed overnight and they are perfected as we go.

Note: look for the link to the workbook at the end!

#1 Gratitude can be interchanged with appreciation for business purposes. What do these words mean to you? What emotions do they evoke? What do you think your customer feels when it’s received? Get creative with how you show gratitude – this is where YOU shine. This is where YOU come out on top – because the other people they called and canceled on ghosted them – because the last order they placed with someone else didn’t come with a personal thank you note.

This is what keeps you top of HEART!

#2 Connection is where business can sometimes be completely in the background! Connection is what makes you referable and part of the community, as a whole. See where I am going with this? This is your community – make it your playground – share your toys – pet their virtual dogs… ok I went too far. OH WELL. You get the point. NO ONE ELSE on their ‘friends list’ is celebrating with them as much as you are!

You are almost there.

#3 Value; you know what you know! It’s valuable – you put in hours of certification training – hours of product knowledge, testing and implementing. You have useful #PROTIPS to share with your audience.

It really doesn’t matter what you share for a couple reasons:

1. They don’t listen half the time.
2. They are not in your field of expertise but they love YOU and your offering.
3. Free info is free – you don’t have to give away the farm.
4. ONLY when money is exchanged does action take place.

BONUS: What if you gave away so much GRATITUDE, CONNECTION and VALUE that someone wanted to work for you or join your team or pay for your mentorship?!?!?!

Now, don’t get overwhelmed – we still need to limit screen time and be present at home BUT we can make our time online so much more intentional and genuine. Your business will flourish through all adversity. These principles are timeless – and now is your time to make them YOURS to make them WORK for you.

Download this workbook to EXPAND this article into WORKABLE implementation that works for YOU and how YOU work!

The HUGE level of human touch that these new habits provide you will, not only magnify and celebrate what you do have, but ELEVATE YOU.

I never believed the notion that people fear public speaking more than death. Given the choice, speak or die, I think most people would speak and you wouldn’t be able to shut them up. A career that involves a lot of public speaking has taught me that speaking is almost always preferable to dying.
 
But I do think the fear of public speaking stands between many people and their dreams. I’ve taught a class on public speaking to a variety of groups over the years. I call the class Public Speaking for Chickens: The Class for People Who Have Something to Crow About but Are Too Afraid to Do It. In it, I discuss things speakers can do before and during a presentation to make themselves more comfortable and their talk more effective. You can see an abbreviated version on my website www.dorothyrosby.com or click the video image thumbnail below.

In future Networker columns, I’ll be sharing a few of the tips I discuss in the class. In the meantime, if a fear of public speaking is holding you back, I encourage you to look for opportunities to speak and when they arise, take them. You’ll grow as a communicator, and other parts of your life may fall into place too. I know that because it worked for me.

After college, I was living in a small town in Iowa working as a radio announcer six evenings a week. That meant I had no social life. Then an acquaintance invited me to attend a Toastmasters meeting. Toastmasters is an international organization with local clubs around the world. Members practice their public speaking and leadership skills at meetings week after week. That’s the kind of practice that helps you get better at anything. But I didn’t care about that at the time. The club’s meetings fit my schedule and I thought it would be a fun way to meet people. Turns out it was, and the kind of people I like to meet: Motivated people from all walks of life who want to improve themselves and their community.

But Toastmasters also put me on a path. Being able to put public speaking experience on my resume helped me land the public relations job I had at Black Hills Works for 31 years. And doing humorous speeches in Toastmasters eventually led to my humor column. Learning to speak to groups put me on a path I might not be on otherwise.

Whatever your goals are, I can guarantee that working to improve your public speaking skills will help you get there. You gain confidence, meet people and learn to sell your ideas. Below is a list of local Toastmaster clubs. I’d encourage you to check them out. Any one of them would welcome you.

Top 5 Toastmasters
Black Hills Works
3650 Range Road, Rapid City
(605) 343-6287
Meets noon Mondays

Mount Rushmore Club
Rapid City Public Library
610 Quincy Street, Rapid City
605-255-5507
Meet 5:30 pm, 1st & 3rd Wednesdays

Skyline Club
Canyon Lake United Methodist Church
3500 Canyon Lake Drive
605-393-6077
Meets 7 am, Saturdays

(Dorothy Rosby is a speaker, author and syndicated humor columnist.)

Dorothy Rosby
Author of Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Worry About, coming soon
www.dorothyrosby.com

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I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better