(Not) Working from Home
A lot of us are working from home now, so I think this is a good time to discuss why we’re not getting anything done.
I’m an expert on not getting anything done, and I can tell you, it’s not our fault. At home, our attention is often demanded by family members, pets and snack cupboards.
Some people get sidetracked by chores. They head to their office, pass by a pile of laundry and can’t resist the urge to fold it. Thankfully I can usually withstand that temptation.
Then there’s technology. On their own, the following are plenty effective at distracting. They’re even better at it when we didn’t want to do our work anyway.
Internet rabbit holes: I often go to the internet for research, but if I’m not careful, I fall down a rabbit hole and forget what I’m researching. Let me demonstrate: I’d like another way to say “rabbit hole” because it’s cliché and as a professional writer, I avoid clichés like the plague.
I type “rabbit hole” into my search bar and discover that a play called Rabbit Hole won a Pulitzer for Drama in 2007. It was later made into a movie starring Nicole Kidman who, incidentally, is currently self-isolating with her adorable cavoodle puppy. I’ve never heard of a cavoodle. It’s highlighted so I click on it. The road to hell is paved with hyperlinks.
A cavoodle is a cross between a poodle and a cavalier King Charles spaniel and it’s one of Australia’s most popular breeds. Isn’t Nicole Kidman from Australia? Quick search. She is! And she’s married to Keith Urban who, hyperlink click, also once lived in Australia. I wonder if that’s where they met. And how he feels about the cavoodle. An hour has passed and I decide to stick with “rabbit hole” or I’ll never finish this.
Email overload: I get more emails than Santa gets letters and it’s my fault. I’ve signed up for every quote of the day and tip of the week there is for writers. There’s so much wisdom in my inbox. Why write when I could read about writing?
There’s also a lot of hooey in there. I’d never get anything done if I didn’t turn the sound down on my computer so it doesn’t ding every time Dr. Fungus emails me. Clearly he’s working at home, and he’s been joined by sellers of masks and hand sanitizer who I’m sure are as trustworthy as he is.
Phone notifications: A guest in my home had her phone notifications set to bark every time she got a text. Naturally, this got everyone’s attention, especially the cat’s.
If my phone barked every time I got a message, this column would be late and I’d never see my cat again. I have to leave notifications off and set my phone to vibrate for calls. Sure I miss some, but most of them are about my vehicle warranty expiring and I’ve already heard that.
Social media: This is the most distracting of all because there’s so much fascinating information on Facebook and the rest. Today, a woman I follow on Twitter asked this interesting question: How tall are you? She had hundreds of responses. Can’t those people see they’re wasting time? By the way, I’m 5 feet 6. Nicole Kidman is 5 feet 11. I looked it up.
(Dorothy Rosby is the author of three humor books including her latest, I Didn’t Know You Could Make Birthday Cake from Scratch: Parenting Blunders from Cradle to Empty Nest.)
Dorothy Rosby
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