The Networker
I was trying to come up with what to put in this month’s article when I received a great little piece from Doc McIntyre from UoT that I thought worthy of sharing:
Saving Our Language in the New Year By Ken Goldstein
Stop beginning any spoken sentence with Candidly, Honestly, Quite frankly, Truthfully, or To tell you the truth. Stagnant qualifiers pollute our language. If these preambles aren’t implicit, don’t speak.
Beginning a statement with “honestly” conveys that it’s different from your other statements, which must be lies.
When I was a young lawyer — many, many years ago — I was told that when a witness started his answer with something like “to be honest with you…” he was about to lie.
Actually, in my opinion (humble or otherwise)…
Stop prefacing earnest speechifying with “Let’s be clear” or some variation thereof.
Stopending letters and emails with “sincerely.” And why do we still start letters with “Dear…?” Come on, few people in this day and age deserve such acknowledgement, yet we use it for letters sent to strangers and corporations. Save it for friends and loved ones.
For God’s sake, don’t use “for God’s sake.” I doubt He/She cares.
“With all due respect” is alead in that often means “I don’t respect your opinion at all, you moron.” And why do some people preface their own opinion with “some people feel that…?” Are they too afraid to own their opinion?
Unless you started a statement with a joke, don’t begin a new statement with “In all seriousness…” And never state that “It’s common knowledge that…” Too many people use that to give support for their own narrow opinion.
Don’t say “literally.” Ugh.
Don’t end a statement with a question, such as “…isn’t it?”
I once asked a question of some guest speaker at a very large public meeting starting a sentence with “surely.” He responded that he distrusts any question beginning that way because it sounds as if I have already made up my mind! My friends who were there quoted the line from Airplane, “Don’t call me Shirley.”
So, there you have it, literally some easy fixes for the New Year. Honestly, we can’t fix the entire world, but quite frankly, any healing in our broken communication is worth the effort. With all due respect, it’s worth a try, isn’t it?
…
I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did – but it also got me really thinking about communication. Not just the mechanics of how we frame our words, and things that should be left unsaid – but the things we don’t say at all or as much as we should. So as we set forth into 2019, we could use less of the words and phrases above, but we can also be better at saying more of some others. Below are a few I intend to work on.
Simple manners and courtesies sometimes get forgotten in the rush of the day – remember to say: “Hello/good morning/good afternoon” etc, “Thank you”, “You’re welcome”, “Please”, “Excuse me”. Remember greetings/please/thank you work in e-mails too!
Give encouragement (you have an infinite supply) – “Everything is going to be OK”, “You can do it”, “You’re awesome”, “This will pass”, “I care”, “I’m listening”, “Can I help you with that?”
Be human, you don’t have to be a super hero every day – “I don’t know”, “I made a mistake”, “I’m sorry”, “I need help”
Be real, it’s good to be open about feelings instead of letting them fester – “I disagree with you, but I still like you”, “You hurt my feelings, let’s talk about it”
Connect and network – “I understand”, “I would like to introduce you to…”, “Tell me about yourself”
And always, always tell those you love how you feel every chance you get.
Happy communicating in the New Year!
Lorie Vega, Secretary
Ellsworth AFB 28th Force Squadron
Virginia Braun is an entrepreneur at heart. She finds the ideas that she has a passion for and shares them with anyone who may want to know. In doing so she has a history of founding and growing businesses and launching new programs and offerings. As the CEO and consultant of ITAMPros Inc., she provides companies guidance and services for their IT Asset Management needs. As a stylist of Ruby Ribbon, she assists women with ridding their wardrobe of uncomfortable garments and promoting beauty inside and out.